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Fighting back in hysteria - online sharing session for survivors of "torsion therapy"

Introduction: "Conversion therapy" is a psychiatric or psychological treatment that attempts to convert sexual minorities into cisgender heterosexuals based on the false assumption that sexual minorities are in need of treatment. As of 2019, more than 96 institutions in China still carry out "torsion therapy". 121 The World Health Organization has removed “homosexual” and “transgender” related content from the International Classification of Diseases, emphasizing that homosexuality and transgender are not mental illnesses and do not require treatment. In addition to the above-mentioned institutions, some minors will also be sent to "troubled youth schools", "Internet addiction rehabilitation schools", "special training schools" and other institutions for conversion therapy. This practice is illegal and ineffective, and it also causes irreversible physical and psychological harm to minors.

In this event, three survivors of "torsion therapy" shared their experiences in "torsion therapy" institutions, so that everyone could have a better understanding of the current situation of "torsion therapy" in the society. The event was hosted by Qingque, and the three survivors of "torsion therapy" who participated in the sharing were Xiaodi, Roasted Fish and Tairan. The following content was dictated by the sharer.

What have they experienced in "torsion therapy" institutions?


"If you go against some of the mainstream values that are being preached at the moment, you are likely to face the risk of being sent for conversion therapy. "

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On her seventeenth birthday, her family tricked Xiaodi into going home on the grounds of celebrating her birthday and forced her to be sent to the Chongqing Military Service Quality Department. Xiaodi started her "torsion therapy". During this period, Xiaodi found an opportunity to escape from the mountain road. When she was starving, she was sent to the public security organ by a kind person. She was taken home by her family and sent back to the school again. Xiaodi was targeted by the instructor intensified. , Xiaodi was finally taken home by his family and left the military service.


Cold, hunger, sickness, corporal punishment...


Xiaodi:It was full of veterans. There were ten instructors, five teachers, and sixty people. They use militarized training... a lot of physical strength that many, many minors can't bear, and use fatigue and fatigue to exercise your will, so that you can experience the pain of bleeding. Including you make mistakes and they will beat you, the important thing is that they will not let you die, they will make your life worse than death, and they will also make you disabled, but they will not let you die.


They don't give you food or water to drink, you can only make do with it, you can only eat white noodles, and the food is not as good as pigs. I also put oil and salt when feeding pigs, but we don't even have oil or salt.


You don't know what time it is or what year you are. Everything seems to be isolated, you can't feel anything, as if you don't know what crisis will happen in the next second. The stick will jump on your bed again. A very scary day. Later, I passed 300 days, I passed 300 days, and I persevered so much, why? Because you want to give me a hope to live.


I didn't have any heavy clothes on me at school, I only had one pair of shoes. Then the socks didn't dry and got athlete's foot. There is a very rich man in our class, sometimes I beg him, can you give me a sweater, I will wash your socks for a week, it's so cold and so cold. Then I got a sweater, I like it very much, I don't have socks, I go and ask him to give you a pair of thick socks, I will give you the meat in the daily meals, only give you a week, and then give me a pair Can thick socks be worn? I just exchanged with him like this, using my strength and my food to exchange with him. Another time I was sick and I had a very bad cough. At that time, I was helping him wash his clothes for a week, and it was very cold. In winter, I had a cold, washed him for a week, came back and changed some cold medicine, because no one would care about me, I kept begging others to exchange it to treat my crisis situation. But what do I get, what I get is disappointment, and being deceived, constantly being deceived. He was very rich, but he was very generous, he ended up giving away three sweaters, which gave me a lot of goodies. We also became friends because both of us treated each other sincerely, I worked for him, and he traded things for food and clothing.


Grilled fish:When I first went to the traditional Chinese medicine hospital, there was a kind of traditional Chinese medicine injection. The price was quite expensive. Anyway, it was a scam. It uses low-intensity electric shocks, which is different from the electroconvulsive therapy used in some psychiatric hospitals. During the treatment in that hospital, the doctor subjected me to verbal violence and threats, including physical obscenity. (The doctor) would come to evaluate my body and then say some insulting language. I have experienced all those feudal and superstitious institutions, and then took some traditional Chinese medicine. Maybe the whole country (such institutions) is relatively similar.


calm:The torsion therapy I experienced also included medicines, which are also Chinese medicines, but I don't know what medicines are, I can only say that those medicines did not harm me much. This has been very fortunate. This is a commercial means.

How has their relationship with their family changed after undergoing "reversal therapy"?


Grilled fish:Before I came out, I trusted my family. After I came out, especially after the 'torsion therapy',My distrust of my family has reached a point where I need to guard against them all the time. When I go to order takeout, I may not write my phone number and name, and I have already taken precautions to such a point. Because my family will find my location through the police. All my relatives, I don't trust them at all.


Xiaodi: The biggest feeling is to be deceived. Because they lied to me three times, and every time they lied to me to the point of shit, they used up all my confidence, and I don't trust them anymore. This deception is too deep, we have been deeply hurt each other. Until now, I have not discussed any ideals and future with my parents, not even chatting. Now I am still alone. Even when I speak now, I am deeply tormented by the school's injury at that time, because the injury at that time was too deep. I was tortured for three months when I ran away, and my relationship with my parents was very poor, and I would no longer have trust.


calm:I will have a clearer understanding of my family. For example, I will know that their behavior and methods are all religious superstition, and I will hate or dislike them for a while. But then I think it's just becauseHe is lacking or weak in this knowledge. In fact (what they need is) more popular science about these knowledge. I'm thinking if they had knowledge about gender they wouldn't be doing these weird things to me. So (the experience of 'torsion therapy') has affected my relationship with my family in stages.

I am in Shenzhen, so the culture here is relatively friendly and open.. In my village, there are actually people with very special gender expressions, so (my parents) probably know that there is such an existence, but because they still care about the face, they still hope that they can make me not so strange, and then live.” normal" life.

How to seek help and self-help after encountering "torsion therapy"?

Xiaodi:I could only run to the safest place. At that time, all I could actually do was send text messages, about fifty or sixty messages a day, and no one would come to the rescue, because the distant water could not save the near fire, and there was no other way. If only I had a cell phone in hand.


Grilled fish:I myself was in such a state of helplessness. In 20 years, my family came to Shanghai from Shandong to kidnap me, and it was also my friends in the community who helped me out of danger. When I graduated from high school in 21, on the one hand, I was afraid to rent a house because I would register my address. Until now, my friends in the community are still taking me in. It was not until I went abroad in July this year that I could live my normal life. After I came out, and before I went back to my normal life, it was all these friends in the group who helped me.


calm:First of all, I really appreciate the technology of the Internet, because it really allows me to receive a lot of (energy). I could have been heading for a very tragic life because having this information made me more open and more aware of how to find help. I think the most important point is to make good use of search engines. The keywords and ideologies you enter will lead you to a more open or more primitive and barbaric civilization. This is very important.

Secondly, I am more grateful for the creation of literature and art. Although it did not help me materially, it gave me a lot of spiritual help. For example, exposure to the theory and knowledge of literature and art made me better understand how to appease this emotion, including some psychological knowledge and so on.

The third point is also more important, which is about personal and practical experience and experience. I got to know a lot of people related to the community, and I also met a lot of supporters who are doing these issues on the Internet. And in reality I have met some friends who can talk to each other just like me. We would organize into a small community to talk to each other and share some of our very private emotions. So these three points are some help for me.


If it is in reality, the discussion is divided into two situations, one is a soft request for help, and the other is a hard request for help. If it is soft, there can be some communication. But if you encounter a hard thing, you still have to get out as soon as possible. Make use of the more developed social media now. The most important thing is that you have a community that you can connect with for a long time, and they will always provide some help. Be good at using social media, keep in touch with community partners, and finally make a more complete plan.

How to avoid entering a "torsion therapy" facility?



Grilled fish:The first is to communicate with parents and seek professional psychologists, psychological counselors or community partners. In the case of knowing that I can't communicate at all, it would be better to try to lie to the parents, because the current situation in China is particularly helpless. Even if you are financially independent and you are an adult, parents can easily arrest a healthy person in a mental hospital if they report to the police. If it is really a very helpless situation, go abroad.

To be honest, these institutions are useless in my experience after they were exposed in China. If you want to expose, you can find some reporters or ask friends in the community for help.  


Ask: What actions can we take? On the one hand, it is to crack down on those institutions of conversion therapy, and on the other hand, how to help these victims of conversion therapy, how to establish a system for self-help and help others?

Grilled fish:In this environment of our country, I don't think there may be any particularly good way. Even now that the country has de-pathologicalized homosexuality, even if it is not like the blatant treatment of ten or twenty years ago, they will use some relatively hidden methods, and it is more difficult to find evidence.

But there are two main aspects: first, we need to make the environment of these people safe, and then let them slowly return to normal life, and then some psychological and community support, I think it is very necessary.

calm:In general, the structure of the general environment will not change. It can only be said that how can we live a happier life under such an environment and system? We can only think about it on an individual level. Because if you don't want to be a politician, I find it difficult to change. If you are still in such an environment, you can only think about how to live more safely and happily.


Question: Are there any legal means we can use to get out of this treatment?

Grilled fish:Legally I only speak from my personal experience. Many of the little friends around me are adults, and then they are involved in the family. It is actually useless to call the police. The police will in turn help your parents to control you. Going to the court may be useful, but other means of seeking help are less likely. There is a high probability that the police will not understand your situation. He will think that you are a sick person or a rebellious child, and then control you. The rights of social workers may not be as great as that of parents or the police at the legal level. So from my personal point of view, it may be necessary to wait until they are safe, and the court may be slightly useful, but it may not be particularly useful before. These are my experiences with the little friends around me.


King:I can make some additions, and change can be worked on in several ways.

On the one hand, do some knowledge popularization to the sales staff of the public security system and the public security system. Because they may still stay on the concept of "parents are good for their children" and "parents will not harm their children". If he can change his mind, make them realize that what they are doing may be wrong. Wouldn't it help to pull the system of public power over to us if we made them realize this truth, instead of him feeling like he was doing good deeds?

On the other hand, let some psychological consultants enter these schools, because it is difficult for others to enter, and then through some psychological consultants or journalists, they can enter the school. Because he is a teacher in this regard, he can use this identity to collect evidence and then expose it.

The host's conclusion



Blue Sparrow:Today, these three partners are willing to stand up and tell their stories, which is a very important narrative in the fight against "torsion therapy". We will also think of more actors, how they will fight. Thank you very much for participating in this discussion and exchange. I hope you all have a good night and your life will be better and better in the future.

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